The 10th of January 2010 marked the 2 year anniversary of the day I made the decision to leave Australia and begin this journey I have been travelling on for the last 2 years. And this week in March 2010 marks the day I walked through those dreaded double doors of the international departures at Melbourne airport. Tears flowing down my face at the emotional and physical pain of saying goodbye to my family and friends spilling over; completely overwhelming me.
And although 2 years doesn’t seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things, I can tell you from my point of view, each and every one of those 24 months has felt like a lifetime in themselves. When you are away from family and friends for that long, the absence your heart and whole being goes through can be hard to cope with at times. The changes that you go through as you experience new cultures, lives and places are all things you wish you could be sharing with your loved ones and those who understand you the best. Throughout those 2 years I have yearned to be around my loved ones more than I dare think about. The cumulative minutes, hours and days I have spent thinking, wishing and yearning to be around my friends and family would amount to an insurmountable amount of time. Time I probably should have spent enjoying the experiences of life instead of being so melodramatic! But hey, what’s life without a little philosophical thought and melancholy!
There have been times when I have been scared of the changes that come with time. I have noticed the connections with people taking on new transformations and friendships changing due to time and not sharing experiences. People change and I know I have changed beyond recognition to some people in my life due to these last two years. But I know my true friends are those that still understand and respect me for those and can still find the Kim that they love and know through those changes and experiences I have enjoyed without them. The people that have taken the time to understand how my environments, lifestyle and experiences have shaped and formed me into the person I am today are my true friends and I am grateful for them. Even my English Accents!!!
3.04.2010
Worn Out Travellers Shoes...
It’s time to hang up the travellers’ hat for a while!
My loyal and trusty travel shoes have taken me far and given me so many beautiful experiences but I’m done!! I’m tired!!
I find my thoughts turning towards wanting to find a base rather than what my new adventure is going to be. So it’s time to find a place to call home for a while...
With my life consisting of people constantly coming and going out of my life due to the job positions I have held over the last two years I find myself reaching a point of loneliness which seems to have consumed me. Making new friends no longer appeals as the eventual goodbyes when a new destination calls are too hard to bear. Each Saturday I endure a day filled with goodbyes from guests who have stayed in my company at the chalet, followed by a whole new group of at least 12 guests coming into my life with whom I have to get to know. The goodbyes each week are beginning to take their toll on me. It seems that with each farewell, each and every friendship which is developed and then lost leaves me feeling like a little piece of me is lost with them as they leave. It’s a horrible feeling having to start all over again each time people leave. I find myself looking forward to the day when I can live an existence where I can feel I have my friends support and friendship surrounding me without any time limit or restrictions as boundaries. Don’t get me wrong I will miss meeting so many new people and making connections with people from all walks of life but I am longing to be able to form bonds and friendships within a community I can call mine for a while.
It’s this bizarre sense of loneliness (without actually ever being lonely) that has driven me to want to find a base. It’s been such a long time since I felt like I had any support network around me that when the times do get tough I have no one to turn to but myself and my own strength. Travelling on my own and coupled with the constancy of missing family and friends while travelling is losing its appeal. The existence of constantly moving and never feeling as if I have a base to call home no longer appeals. All the excitement and wonder I once used to feel when I thought of visiting a new country or culture is lost to me now. The constancy of moving and setting up a life in a new destination conjures up thoughts of exhaustion and dread at the notion of more change. The unknown no longer appeals and the tourist within me has gone into hiding! I am longing for the lifestyle of an English speaking country, to have the ease of being able to converse and be understood. To have a space I can call my own, where I can unpack my suitcase and enjoy a bed that is MINE and not just mine for the next 5 months! My poor tired soul doesn’t seem to be able to cope with much more change lately. And I certainly have put it through a lot!
But what an adventure it has been! I can now look back with a huge amount of pride at what I have achieved and experienced over the last 2 years. I have beautiful memories I will cherish for the rest of my life and friends all over the world. I am truly grateful for all the amazing places I have visited, all the amazing experiences I have had. But by far the best part of the last 2 years have been the beautiful people I have been able to meet. I feel incredibly lucky to have met so many amazing, generous people who have shaped and changed me into the person I am today. I literally have suitcases full of memories!
My loyal and trusty travel shoes have taken me far and given me so many beautiful experiences but I’m done!! I’m tired!!
I find my thoughts turning towards wanting to find a base rather than what my new adventure is going to be. So it’s time to find a place to call home for a while...
With my life consisting of people constantly coming and going out of my life due to the job positions I have held over the last two years I find myself reaching a point of loneliness which seems to have consumed me. Making new friends no longer appeals as the eventual goodbyes when a new destination calls are too hard to bear. Each Saturday I endure a day filled with goodbyes from guests who have stayed in my company at the chalet, followed by a whole new group of at least 12 guests coming into my life with whom I have to get to know. The goodbyes each week are beginning to take their toll on me. It seems that with each farewell, each and every friendship which is developed and then lost leaves me feeling like a little piece of me is lost with them as they leave. It’s a horrible feeling having to start all over again each time people leave. I find myself looking forward to the day when I can live an existence where I can feel I have my friends support and friendship surrounding me without any time limit or restrictions as boundaries. Don’t get me wrong I will miss meeting so many new people and making connections with people from all walks of life but I am longing to be able to form bonds and friendships within a community I can call mine for a while.
It’s this bizarre sense of loneliness (without actually ever being lonely) that has driven me to want to find a base. It’s been such a long time since I felt like I had any support network around me that when the times do get tough I have no one to turn to but myself and my own strength. Travelling on my own and coupled with the constancy of missing family and friends while travelling is losing its appeal. The existence of constantly moving and never feeling as if I have a base to call home no longer appeals. All the excitement and wonder I once used to feel when I thought of visiting a new country or culture is lost to me now. The constancy of moving and setting up a life in a new destination conjures up thoughts of exhaustion and dread at the notion of more change. The unknown no longer appeals and the tourist within me has gone into hiding! I am longing for the lifestyle of an English speaking country, to have the ease of being able to converse and be understood. To have a space I can call my own, where I can unpack my suitcase and enjoy a bed that is MINE and not just mine for the next 5 months! My poor tired soul doesn’t seem to be able to cope with much more change lately. And I certainly have put it through a lot!
But what an adventure it has been! I can now look back with a huge amount of pride at what I have achieved and experienced over the last 2 years. I have beautiful memories I will cherish for the rest of my life and friends all over the world. I am truly grateful for all the amazing places I have visited, all the amazing experiences I have had. But by far the best part of the last 2 years have been the beautiful people I have been able to meet. I feel incredibly lucky to have met so many amazing, generous people who have shaped and changed me into the person I am today. I literally have suitcases full of memories!
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