It’s time to hang up the travellers’ hat for a while!
My loyal and trusty travel shoes have taken me far and given me so many beautiful experiences but I’m done!! I’m tired!!
I find my thoughts turning towards wanting to find a base rather than what my new adventure is going to be. So it’s time to find a place to call home for a while...
With my life consisting of people constantly coming and going out of my life due to the job positions I have held over the last two years I find myself reaching a point of loneliness which seems to have consumed me. Making new friends no longer appeals as the eventual goodbyes when a new destination calls are too hard to bear. Each Saturday I endure a day filled with goodbyes from guests who have stayed in my company at the chalet, followed by a whole new group of at least 12 guests coming into my life with whom I have to get to know. The goodbyes each week are beginning to take their toll on me. It seems that with each farewell, each and every friendship which is developed and then lost leaves me feeling like a little piece of me is lost with them as they leave. It’s a horrible feeling having to start all over again each time people leave. I find myself looking forward to the day when I can live an existence where I can feel I have my friends support and friendship surrounding me without any time limit or restrictions as boundaries. Don’t get me wrong I will miss meeting so many new people and making connections with people from all walks of life but I am longing to be able to form bonds and friendships within a community I can call mine for a while.
It’s this bizarre sense of loneliness (without actually ever being lonely) that has driven me to want to find a base. It’s been such a long time since I felt like I had any support network around me that when the times do get tough I have no one to turn to but myself and my own strength. Travelling on my own and coupled with the constancy of missing family and friends while travelling is losing its appeal. The existence of constantly moving and never feeling as if I have a base to call home no longer appeals. All the excitement and wonder I once used to feel when I thought of visiting a new country or culture is lost to me now. The constancy of moving and setting up a life in a new destination conjures up thoughts of exhaustion and dread at the notion of more change. The unknown no longer appeals and the tourist within me has gone into hiding! I am longing for the lifestyle of an English speaking country, to have the ease of being able to converse and be understood. To have a space I can call my own, where I can unpack my suitcase and enjoy a bed that is MINE and not just mine for the next 5 months! My poor tired soul doesn’t seem to be able to cope with much more change lately. And I certainly have put it through a lot!
But what an adventure it has been! I can now look back with a huge amount of pride at what I have achieved and experienced over the last 2 years. I have beautiful memories I will cherish for the rest of my life and friends all over the world. I am truly grateful for all the amazing places I have visited, all the amazing experiences I have had. But by far the best part of the last 2 years have been the beautiful people I have been able to meet. I feel incredibly lucky to have met so many amazing, generous people who have shaped and changed me into the person I am today. I literally have suitcases full of memories!
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