Of late I have had this overwhelming feeling of being rootless; being without a base; a place to call home. And I have to say it’s not a comfortable feeling. Actually quite unsettling. Having now left my little Italian family and my home in Tuscany my whole being is yet again lost in the wonderful world of living out of a suitcase from one destination to the next.
In the weeks leading up to my farewells from Patrignone I had this ever present nagging need that I continued to ignore or face. And that is the need for a base or home here in Europe. With all of my being now feeling quite Europeanised, Australia has its clutches less and less around my heart. With little left to tie me with Australia, except family and friends the need to continue building a life here in Europe is becoming ever stronger. And for those Australians within the audience I can assure you I haven’t come to that conclusion lightly. Home is where the heart is...Right? But what if your affections are divided between two homes, thousands of miles apart? Welcome to my dilemma!
In recent weeks I have travelled from one wonderful destination to the next, From Italy to the French Riviera, to the French Alps, to Paris, to London, to Oxford, Bath, Devon, Worchester, back to London, Brighton, back to Devon and back to the French Riviera again. Yet the most definitive moment through all those amazing experiences was the moment I found myself leaving the hotel in London yet again having made connections with people who had changed my life for the better once again. As I left the hotel in London the concierge ironically said to me ‘have a safe journey home.’ Instantly I felt the blow of such a cruel statement at the very moment in my life when I was struggling with the lack of a home. It was taking all my energy to continue along my mission. Not one part of me wanted to be leaving London. I am so damn tired of moving, of being rootless, of not having a definitive idea of where home is that I almost collapsed on the floor in defeat as life enjoyed kicking the heels in! My energy for meeting new people and exploring new places is dwindling rapidly, and my instinctual need for a place to call home is growing ever stronger.
All I ask is for a place to rest my suitcase full of memories for a bit. A place to call my own. Where I can place all of my belongings, where I can have a pantry and fridge full of food, a cosy sofa, where I can organise my life, where I can have friends and neighbours and enjoy buying my fruit and veg from the local market each week. It’s not much to ask for is it? But let’s not despair; life has a way of sorting these kinds of problems out...Right? I hope so!
And it’s all in your best interests to encourage me along this path, because then of course you will all have a place to crash in Europe! A place to housesit when I decide to go off on another adventure! So my energies are now beginning to concentrate on making some valiant attempts to putting down some roots somewhere! It may not happen tomorrow, it may not happen next year...But I can assure you, I will make it happen! I will have my little apartment in a beautiful Italian or French picturesque port or century old little pad in a Tuscan hilltop Town someday soon!
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